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Leadership and Parenting

Napoleon Bonaparte once said, "You can not lead a battle if you think you look silly on a horse."

I was the man Napoleon is describing. To a degree, I still am. As I've taught leadership this year, though, I've begun to understand that leadership-- like all relationships-- is like a dance. You have your moves, and they have theirs. If you're not dancing together, allowing your followers to shine in their own creativity by affirming and encouraging the ideas they have conceived, then the dance will be awkward and tense at best, and will lead to hurt toes and the end of your dance at worst. At the same time, there are moments when being a leader leads to unique situations, moments you would never experience as a general education classroom teacher.

Some of these happened over the past three days. I took my students to a leadership conference in San Jose, and just want to tell one of the stories from the conference.

Bankground:
My fellow chaperone and I taped the doors shut every night so we could tell if students left their rooms. On this night, a student called my cell phone to ask for an extra towel for her hotel room. When I arrived, she and her friends opened the door, and the following exchange occurred.

[...handing her the towel...]

Student: "I wanted a big towel."

Mr. S, tired at the end of a day that included an evening at the Santa Cruz Boardwalk, and frustrated at the way she had asked for the towel on the phone: "Don't ask for a big towel."

Second Student: "Say thank you."

Student: "Thank you."

[Door closes, and as Mr. S re-tapes the door...]

Student, not knowing Mr. S was still there, re-taping the door: "I don't like him."

Mr. S: "I heard that."

[All of us laughing....]

I tried to be extra nice to her the next day (today). She was nice, too. After having taught this type of class for awhile now, and after being responsible for junior high kids on an overnight trip like this one, I have a new respect for parents. They have to balance the safety of their children with (in this case) their child's need for freedom. Some of the decisions they must make are not as clear as they would like. In the end, though, I think kids want to know that you care about them, and if you can show that to them, they (in the words of an actual parent) are very forgiving for the mistakes you make.

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