We all fear something. I'm afraid of heights, aspartame, and rejection (okay, so maybe not aspartame). When I fail to face these fears, however, I come away with one of two reactions: I drown in the well of kismet (I believe I was intended to be this way), or I failed to act when it was in my power to do so.
Both responses have in them an ugliness. The determinist, who claims there is little or nothing that can be done to correct our behavior, bows to fate and lays himself down to rest in utter defeat. The man who ascribes to free will may have the ability to change, but willingly and decisively fails time and again to do so. I side with this latter free will scientist/artist (scientist, because it takes the ability to extrapolate how you came to the failures you experienced; and artist, because it takes creativity to come up with a way to sooth your ego when you find out).
To avoid these pitfalls, isn't it just easier to face your fears? I keep telling myself this, anyway!
There's more. What I've found recently is that my whole perception of character has been based predominantly on developing myself. My questions often included, "How can I become more courageous? How can I become more intelligent? How can I be more spiritually mature?" Although they are valid questions, and-- I think-- reflect a genuine desire to be a better person, I'm finding that they were misguided.
Now, all of this could reflect my context and current station in life: a thirty-one year-old established in a career, with more time than at any other point in his life to consider and choose his own ideological direction. It might not be fair, then, to say that I was wrong to have held my previous state of mind. Indeed, questions like the ones above reflect a need to define yourself, a need to shore up a concrete notion of who you are. No, these questions were good ones.
I'm beginning to see, though, that there's a world outside myself with needs much greater than my own; and far from being bothered by them, I'm feeling moved by them, motivated to take part in meeting them. Questions that are recently surfacing in my mind are questions like "What can I do? Who will I serve? How can I help?"
What I'm facing, then, are not necessarily fears within myself-- at least not yet-- but diverging roads that call for a choice. In facing such a choice, I leave behind those introspective questions about what I am to myself, and shift to those about what I will be to others.
The funny thing is that I believe these questions were with me all along, and my answers to them could have helped to answer earlier questions of who I am, had I just taken time enough to look around. My last words in this post, then, are the words "Face it." I don't say face your fears any longer, though that's important. Instead I say face the need around you in whatever way God shaped you to do so.
Both responses have in them an ugliness. The determinist, who claims there is little or nothing that can be done to correct our behavior, bows to fate and lays himself down to rest in utter defeat. The man who ascribes to free will may have the ability to change, but willingly and decisively fails time and again to do so. I side with this latter free will scientist/artist (scientist, because it takes the ability to extrapolate how you came to the failures you experienced; and artist, because it takes creativity to come up with a way to sooth your ego when you find out).
To avoid these pitfalls, isn't it just easier to face your fears? I keep telling myself this, anyway!
There's more. What I've found recently is that my whole perception of character has been based predominantly on developing myself. My questions often included, "How can I become more courageous? How can I become more intelligent? How can I be more spiritually mature?" Although they are valid questions, and-- I think-- reflect a genuine desire to be a better person, I'm finding that they were misguided.
Now, all of this could reflect my context and current station in life: a thirty-one year-old established in a career, with more time than at any other point in his life to consider and choose his own ideological direction. It might not be fair, then, to say that I was wrong to have held my previous state of mind. Indeed, questions like the ones above reflect a need to define yourself, a need to shore up a concrete notion of who you are. No, these questions were good ones.
I'm beginning to see, though, that there's a world outside myself with needs much greater than my own; and far from being bothered by them, I'm feeling moved by them, motivated to take part in meeting them. Questions that are recently surfacing in my mind are questions like "What can I do? Who will I serve? How can I help?"
What I'm facing, then, are not necessarily fears within myself-- at least not yet-- but diverging roads that call for a choice. In facing such a choice, I leave behind those introspective questions about what I am to myself, and shift to those about what I will be to others.
The funny thing is that I believe these questions were with me all along, and my answers to them could have helped to answer earlier questions of who I am, had I just taken time enough to look around. My last words in this post, then, are the words "Face it." I don't say face your fears any longer, though that's important. Instead I say face the need around you in whatever way God shaped you to do so.
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