Even though some of our relationships are not as peaceful or
nice as we would like them to be, we still need relationships (and other
people) in general. One man who recognized this need placed it in what is
called a “hierarchy of needs.” This man, Abraham Maslow, wrote a book in 1943
in which he described what he believed were all the main needs that we have as
humans.
Physiological: The most basic needs we have, he recognized,
were the basic life needs (food, water, shelter, sleep, etc.). Generally, if
these needs aren’t met, the other needs are not important. If someone is
hungry, he devotes his attention to getting food.
Safety: After we realize this need, our next most important
need is the need for safety. Humans, he says, want a predictable, orderly world
where they are physically and emotionally safe. This might mean living in a
safe neighborhood, holding a steady job, and living in a safe family
environment. If our need for safety is not satisfied, the higher needs are not
important.
Social: When we feel safe, a new need arises, according to
Maslow, for love and belonging. We feel a need for friendships, supportive
family members, and intimacy. Humans, he says, need to feel like they belong,
whether it is to a large social group (like a sports team, club, or religious
group), or to a small social group like family members or trusted friends).
When these aren’t met, he believes, we experience depression, loneliness, and
social anxiety. Maslow recognized that this need can become more important than
the lower needs. For example, someone might care more about feeling like they
belong than they do about food or safety.
Esteem: Maslow’s next need was a need for self-esteem and
recognition from others. Everyone, he says, has a need for both self-respect
and to feel like others respect them. We would therefore participate in
activities that make us feel like we are contributing to society in some way
(helping others around us in some way). We would therefore seek attention from
others, a good reputation, and achievement, for example. If we are out of
balance in this area, he says, we can have either low self-esteem or arrogance.
Self-actualization: Maslow’s last need is what is called
self-actualization. Once all the other needs are met, we find a need to reach
our greatest potential. Unlike the other needs, this need is never satisfied.
We seek to be creative, mature, and effective; they want to solve problems and
seek justice, truth, and meaning in life. Like all the other needs, however, we
won’t care about this need if we don’t first take care of the others.
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