Thoughts on Character

1. Ralph Waldo Emerson once penned these words (or something close to it): “Do not say things. What you are stands over you the while and thunders so that I cannot hear what you say to the contrary.” In other words, a person’s actions will tell much more about her than her words. We know others by their courage or their cowardice, by their diligence or their idleness, and by their kindness or their cruelty. Interestingly enough, we find we are inspired by the courageous, diligent, and kind of heart; and yet turned away by the cowardly, idle, and cruel. Why is this true? I believe it is because we see something in the former that we seek for ourselves. We want to become more than we are, and when we see others who personify that dream, we are moved to action.

2. The word character originally referred to the mark that was fashioned by an engraving tool; specifically, the mark you found on a coin. This is a telling definition, because it implies that the qualities that make us who we are can never be formed by us alone. Like an engraving, our character is always defined, always fashioned, by something outside of ourselves. If this seems a fatalistic view, then understand that we very much have a choice about what we allow to define us. Will we listen to other people’s criticism, or will we choose to hear their encouragement, however faint the sound may sometimes be?

3. Perhaps one of the most difficult things in life is to be honest, both with others and– especially– with yourself. The honest person, however, is a person of insight. This person knows, above all, that there is more at stake than gaining what lies directly in front of you, and sees that personal integrity– whatever the risk– is of greater worth than that which tempts you at the moment.

4. Generosity is often thought of in financial terms. When we think of being generous, we think of giving our money to a person or cause; and why not? This is among the most tangible and visible ways to be generous. There is, however, another variety of generosity that, if you’ve seen it in action, is no less giving and no less kind. It is a generosity of spirit, a gift of the self that involves time, energy, and perhaps most importantly, position. It sends the message that your needs are as important as—or even more important than-- my own.

5. We take it for granted that some of the quietest things in our world are also some of the most powerful. The moon, silent as it is to us, exerts great force on our oceans and lights an otherwise dark sky. The wind is heard only by the objects it passes, and yet its consistent, pounding force can uproot even the most venerable trees. Even a simple gesture—like a smile—makes no sound, and yet if it is genuine, it has the power to change the heart of even the most stoic, unfeeling person.