Skip to main content

True Conflict Resolution Theory

In the 1950’s, one man, named Erik Erickson, theorized that humans go through eight stages of development that will determine their identities. In each stage, a person faces what he called a “crisis” that must be resolved, or else problems will occur later in life.

1. Trust versus Mistrust (experienced in infancy): An infant must find whether he or she can trust his or her mother and environment. If the child can’t, he or she may not be able to form healthy relationships with others, or even themselves.

2. Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt (experienced as a toddler): In this stage, a toddler tries to become independent from his or her caregiver. If parents don’t give the child boundaries and choices, he or she will feel shame and doubt (likely because he or she is so dependent on the caregiver).

3. Initiative versus Guilt (experienced from ages 3-6): A child plans and executes his or her own goals and sets his or her own boundaries (like deciding to cross a street on his or her own or riding a bike with or without a helmet). If he or she can’t reach the goals, the child acts out and eventually feels guilty for not being able to reach his or her goals.

4. Industry versus Inferiority (ages 7-12): Children in this stage want to learn and accomplish skills (writing, reading, etc.). They need to experience the feeling of success. If he or she experiences too little success, he or she will begin to feel incompetent or inferior.

5. Identity versus Role Confusion (experienced during adolescence): Adolescents must think about and determine who they are, and “where they are going in life.” If they are not allowed to explore, they may become confused about their role life.

6. Intimacy versus Isolation (ages 20-34): A person in this stage must be ready for intimate relationships and commitment, but must be able to balance intimacy and being alone. He or she must also be able to accept rejection. A person will experience either intimate relationships, or will be isolated.

7. Generativity versus Stagnation (35-60 years): A person in this stage is concerned with guiding the next generation. If this person feels that he or she hasn’t contributed to the next generation, that person will be self-absorbed and stagnant.

8. Integrity versus Despair (ages 60 and up): A person in this stage looks back at his or her life with pride and gladness, or looks back with sadness and unforgiveness of himself or others. They become dissatisfied with the lives they’ve led.

Socrates said that an unexamined life is not worth living, meaning that you have to think about why you act and feel the way you do. Erikson puts that quote into greater perspective.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pleasure

*Note: In the following post, I am heavily influenced by a pastor named Bob Shirock. Specifically, Shirock writes about Solomon's response to the pleasures he experienced in life in Ecclesiastes, and observes that we can enjoy pleasures in life if we accept them as God's gifts, and if we express our gratitude in their enjoyment. He cites Ecclesiastes 2:24-26 and 1 Timothy 4:1-5. I’ve noticed something about pleasure: the highs can be followed by lows. This sounds obvious, but what I mean is that times of joy and fun in life's pleasures are wonderful, and can lift your spirits for a time, but they can be followed by a disappointment that comes from the realization that they are short-lived and will not satisfy us in the long-term. I’m calling this a pleasure hangover. We gain happiness for a time, but see that this happiness is temporary. We therefore feel a subsequent low that leaves us still longing. It reminds me of a theme in the life of C.S. Lewis: sehnsucht , or a wist...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ghosts

Exercising at a gym seems to be pretty important in our culture, but it's kind of weird to see the social dynamics when you're there. Usually, if you're running an errand, you see others doing the same thing, going about their days and focusing on what's in front of them. The same thing happens at the gym, only everyone is relatively stationary. They don't really go anywhere, except from one machine or area to another. One might think this lends itself to lots of interaction between members, especially since they're all there for the same purpose, but it isn't true. Not only do people generally avoid talking to one another, but they also avoid even looking at one another. It is as though there is no one else there, even though there are dozens on any given day. Most people follow this unwritten rule, unless something in the environment-- say, two people wanting to use the same set of weights-- gives them common ground to interact, or unless they've alr...
2 comments
Read more

End of an Era

It was over two years ago that I joined an experiment that would last until last July, an experiment that would significantly change me and the eleven others involved. That experiment was the creation of a new church comprised of twelve members whose purpose was to serve the people of downtown Stockton. Most attractive to me about it was that half of our income would be used in some way outside the church, to benefit the local community or to aid in international assistance. In that span of time, we did in fact serve in ways we'd envisioned. One of our first events was a pizza and school supplies giveaway (coupled with games for the kids who came) toward the end of our first summer. Many of those who came seemed genuinely happy at this. Through that year, we also hosted an event called a "card me house party," wherein each person's ticket to the event was a gift card. Once inside, chips could be purchased to play card and other games, with the resulting collection g...
1 comment
Read more