2012 Haiti Team Interview Three: Katie

On a quiet night early in the week, our team took the time to sit together to process how we were feeling about the trip so far. We never could have imagined what would come next. What began as a surface conversation turned quickly into one of such depth that by its end, several of us were found crying. It was a time of confession, a time of pain, and a time of healing; and it was Katie who took us there. At least, she was the one brave enough to be vulnerable about herself in front of the others.

Such introspection seems familiar to Katie, but none on the team could deny her courage as she became the first to allow others to share in it. It was Katie who redirected the meaning of our trip from one that focused solely on service to one that turned inward, toward personal healing. No one, in fact, was more unprepared for this turn than she was. Indeed, Katie expected her focus to be on serving others. Instead, she discovered, in her words, that her "main calling is not what I'm doing here, but what God is doing in me." The opportunity she found, then, was an opportunity to look more closely at herself and begin to see herself as God does.

Perhaps the seeds of such healing began before the trip. At that time, she saw the meaningful contributions she was making to the team, specifically as she used her artistic talents to benefit our burrito sale fundraiser. Katie called this "a beginning." More important, however, was a meeting with a friend who had been vulnerable with her, an event which served as an example for her to do the same here.

We were glad she did, for we discovered that such vulnerability allowed us to visit the hidden parts of our own hearts, to cast light on our own struggles so that we no longer had to feel alone in them. Beyond her knowledge of French, beside her experience with painting, and outside her skill with a pencil, it was Katie's willingness to be broken in front of us that showed us that it is okay to be broken at all. Such purpose goes beyond mere outward skill. It allows God to reach into the secret places of our hearts to begin the process of healing. It was God, in fact, who used Katie on this trip in a way none of us could have expected, but for which many of us were grateful. He showed through her that neither talents nor other people define our value. Instead, our worth is inherent, given freely through Christ's sacrifice, a sacrifice made the more real to a group of eleven on a warm Haitian evening, one of whom showed enough courage-- if only for a moment-- to let herself be seen.