A Grief Observed

C.S. Lewis wrote A Grief Observed after the death of his wife, Joy Davidman. In it he journals about his emotional and spiritual experiences as he suffers from this loss, questioning God's goodness and his own motives. In short, he attempts to characterize his own grief. Appropriately, Lewis is more vulnerable and honest here than in any of his other works. It is not surprising that Lewis was willing to publish words that he wrote in sorrow, and even despair. What is surprising is the similarity that grief in mourning holds to other forms of grief. One can grieve at the end of a friendship, a job, or even a bad habit. The differences between them are the extent to which they hurt us and the faces they wear. Common to them all, however, is loss.

In that sense, A Grief Observed can be comforting, especially for those prone to believe--as we are wont to do when we grieve--that no one could understand our sorrow. In fact, it is difficult to admit in sorrow that we are not special, because this belief can be one of the most comforting feelings to us. Indeed, our belief that we are unique in our suffering can be the very thing that keeps us in our sorrow. We do not want to heal because we very much like feeling special. In this latter sense, then, A Grief Observed is more than just a series of thoughts on what mourning feels like, but is an invitation finally to let go of the past and to allow oneself to heal. I do not know whether this was Lewis's intent, but it is its effect.