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Nerds

Being a nerd does not carry the negative stigma that it once did, and in fact popular culture has embraced nerds perhaps more than at any other time in recent memory. In the 1980s and 1990s, the popularity of movies like Revenge of the Nerds and The Goonies, and characters like Clark Kent and Steve Urkel revealed our fascination with this decreasingly outcast social group; while more recently, we find the same fascination in Napoleon Dynamite, shows like The Big Bang Theory and King of the Nerds, and Comic-Con.

Part of me wants to believe that Bill Gates is solely responsible for this trend. It was he, from his position of financial success, who advised us to treat nerds kindly: "Chances are you'll end up working for one;" and when the subject of nerds is raised in everyday conversation, one or another inevitably follows Gates' words by saying that nerds may be unpopular and socially awkward, but it is they who succeed financially.

An increasing push for tolerance has likely played a role in the increasing popularity of nerds, but this alone could not be responsible. The representation of nerds in movies, shows, and in the media generally (including the news) has brought nerds further into our social consciousness and levied acceptance. Still, I tend to believe that nerds are not yet truly accepted. Non-nerds certainly have made it seem otherwise when celebrities like Justin Bieber and Kevin Durant wear the stereotypically-over sized square-framed glasses and other nerd paraphernalia; but this represents an adoption of peripherals, an acceptance of the persona and face of nerd culture rather than the actual behavior of nerds.

Certainly, we do like nerds who can manage to be endearing in some way. Prominent here is the sense that nerds can appear harmless. Our hearts may melt at a supposed nerd's self-deprecation or brighten in the humor of his boldly-spoken but obvious comments. True acceptance of the nerd, however, involves acceptance of the whole person. It involves accepting the lack of emotional and social awareness that a person may bring to a friendship or social group; it involves a willingness to spend time with someone who seems isolated, or a readiness to share in his or her fascination with obscure or unpopular hobbies. Ultimately, it means looking past the appearance and behavior to see the motives, fears, and uniqueness of the person. It sometimes means loving a person who does not seem to love back. This is true acceptance, and it works for geeks, too. In fact, it works for goths, jocks, addicts, and for the popular or seemingly successful people. It works for the stubborn, hard-hearted old man and the overworked mother, for the failure and the sinner, the high- and low-born alike.

I am mildly nerdy. I do not have the intelligence to be a full nerd. Heck, I never took calculus or knew the elements in the periodic table (a quiz found here apparently makes these nerd attributes). Still, the fun I have in playing Star Trek card games, talking about Marvel superheroes, and anticipating the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie tells me that I have some nerd in me. Perhaps this is why I use the nerd as my archetype in discussing acceptance. Like others, I have found myself making unconscious, even angry, judgments of people rather than taking the time to think about why they acted the way they did. The funny thing about grace is that it can be unexpected. When you extend it to others, you find yourself in the unforeseen position of needing it extended to you. Grace and humility share a close bond, and when they embrace, there are few things in the world more beautiful, even to nerds.

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