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Our Response to Guilt

It's not abnormal to see people walking in the morning on those days (growing fewer, by the way) when I run. Normally, my interactions with the people I see are what you might expect when two people pass on an otherwise empty path. Most often, we greet each other and move on. Such uneventful interaction is normal. On this day, however, something different happened, something that I will likely remember for some time.

I was passing a young woman--perhaps nineteen or twenty--walking the opposite direction from me. Since she was looking down at her phone, I said nothing and kept running. However, when I reached about forty feet beyond where she then was, I heard a man from across the street begin to yell at this woman. Addressing her first by calling her out (I can't remember what he said here), I could not for certain make out what he said next, but I believe it was something like, "You are fat." Still running, even while he continued to yell, I looked to see her reaction. She kept walking, never looking up from her phone, and seemingly unfazed. It is hard to believe, however, that she remained unaffected by something like this.

Instead of turning around to defend her--to tell this man to be quiet, to reassure her that he was wrong--to do something that would help her know she was not alone, I kept running. On reflection, I realize that it was not out of fear that I did not stop, but out of inconvenience. I did not want to interrupt my run. This event, and my reaction to it, has stayed with me the past few days, and I am reminded through it that we may not get to choose what happens in our lives, but we always have a choice in the way we respond.

I don't just mean that I should have responded to this situation by defending this young lady. That is certainly true. I mean that we have a choice in how we respond even to our own behavior, whether that behavior is good or bad. I can say that I felt guilty about my inaction immediately after I realized what I had not done, and continued to feel that guilt for the next few days. That is one response, one that I know can become self-indulgent (even self-pitying) if we let it.

Still, there is another response to situations like these. We can respond by embracing--even if reluctantly at first--the grace that is freely given to us through the mediation of Jesus Christ for us. We do not, however, have to do this alone. Jesus told the disciples that God would send "another advocate to help you and be with you forever--the Spirit of truth" (John 14:16-17), while Paul later wrote that "when you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession--to the praise of His glory." (Ephesian 1:13-14) The presence of this Helper does not change my circumstances, but it does change my response to those circumstances. I know of no better way to deal with guilt than to look to a God who made the laws that I violate, and then see him remind me himself--through the Bible, through the Holy Spirit, through godly friends--that he does not hold it against me. It is a response that lifts your eyes away from yourself and trains them gratefully on an ever-present Savior.

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