The Kiss

I lean in and whisper
The words I want to hear
Out of fear
With angels hovering above
My heart before would have told me
Don’t say it
But that was long ago
In fact, I’ve said it a million times
In a million different ways
Each time a shade different
To convince myself
Of the newness of my need
This is the Judas kiss
But by this time,
I know not what I do
After all, the man hearing me
Looks so different now
I find too late, then,
That the one I’ve betrayed
Is me

I regroup,
Mustering that fearful man inside
Writhing in all my strength
To shake down the guilt
Just to have it crawl up again
I look for light, but find none

Then, I lift my despondence high
And see a light
I follow until it brightens
To the full light of day
And though I look as ragged as I did before
I am not the same
For no longer, when I lean in and whisper,
Are my words for me
I hear reply
A million times
In a million different ways
Each time a shade different
To convince me
Of the bonds from which I’m freed
This is the Savior’s kiss
Still, by this time
I know not what I do
After all, the one loving me
Looks so new to me
I find too late, then,
That the one I betrayed
Was him

I regroup
Summoning that joyful man inside
Praising in all his strength
To lift up my need
Just to have it fall down again
I look for light
And find the Son.