Thoughts

Like the rest of nature, we tend not to act of our own accord without some force compelling us. That force can have its source outside of us, as when we move out of the path of an oncoming vehicle; or it can have its source inside of us, as when we respond with tears to some unresolved pain. Especially with regard to this latter force, it is sometimes difficult to tell which factor-- or combination of factors-- leads us to do this or that. Other times, however, that force pulls at us with such power that we are aware of nothing else. This could be the death of a loved one, or the beginning of a relationship. It is with these major forces, these moons that pull upon the oceans of our hearts, that I am concerned; because it is most often these forces that tear us from our places of comfort, that challenge our most deep-seated beliefs, and that rarely leave us the same. In fact, our views of others, our world, and of ourselves can shift drastically, for better or-- if we let it happen-- f...

Our country has a rich history of sometimes creative punishments for different crimes. Some of these were meant to humiliate the offenders more than hurt them (though they definitely had punishments that inflict severe pain). Among the humiliating punishments in colonial North America was a tool called the “ducking stool.” This punishment was reserved as humiliation for slanderers, brawlers, quarrelsome married couples, and even "brewers of bad beer or bakers of bad bread." The offender would be strapped to a chair tied to two twelve- to fifteen-foot beams that could swing out from the shore of a river or pond. Being placed in this chair, he would be swiveled out from the shore and then dunked into the water. Other punishments were more severe. Branding was used to punish with both pain and humiliation. If you were caught stealing, for example, the letter B would be branded on your right hand for the first offense; and on the left hand for the second offense (if someone comm...

This is the letter I'm sending out to ask for spiritual and financial help for our trip to Haiti. Maybe you, too, could help. :-) February 18th, 2011 Dear Friends and Family: It has been over one year since a magnitude 7.0 earthquake leveled Port-au-Prince, Haiti, and its surrounding areas on January 12th, 2010. Since that time, the international community has contributed an estimated $1.4 billion toward relief efforts in the country. While some of this aid has been sent specifically to provide for the 1.3 million displaced in the country, a continuing need is stable, permanent housing. This is no less true for the children of Haiti, an unknown number of whom have been orphaned or abandoned because of the earthquake. This is where you and I come in. I am joining a team of young people from three different churches in Stockton, California, to travel to Jacmel, Haiti, where we will help rebuild an orphanage destroyed in the earthquake. Jacmel sits on the southern coast of Ha...

I was walking through the "fragrance" department in Dillard's today to pick up a donation for the Haiti trip I'm going on in June. A service clerk stopped me and asked me to smell the new Jessica Simpson perfume. I smelled it, and then thought about why she might be letting me smell a perfume instead of a cologne. Quickly, I said, "Oh, I don't have anyone to buy this for." She responded, "Oh, you don't have anyone?" I said, "No," but told her I did like the fragrance. I don't mind very much that I'm not with anyone. In fact, it's been nice to be able to focus on some of the more important things in life. I just hope I can keep that perspective, because I know that is a prerequisite for having healthy relationships. That is, a relationship cannot be the one thing to which you turn to make you happy. It is more important to live a life of purpose, guided by a loving God. A life genuinely lived by this purpose will become...

I went swing dancing last Friday with a few acquaintances. On the way home, the question came up about what our greatest fears were. After one of the girls mentioned hers, she asked what mine was. Immediately, I said it was the fear of rejection, "hands down." Later, though, I realized that was wrong, that my fear of rejection was really a fear of something more specific, something which I understand a lot of men face. That is, I'm afraid of inadequacy. To be sure, this is but an extension of the fear of rejection. If a man hasn't met the standard by which he measures himself, he may feel isolated from his peers, his God, and even himself. Still, there's a special niche of the heart-- a rather deep one, in fact-- into which the fear of inadequacy fits that both distinguishes it from the fear of rejection and that makes it particularly cutting to a male. When much of his identity rests upon the false foundation of his performance in this or that task, as I beli...

It feels like the events intended to help support the Haiti team are coming more frequently now. Support letters have been written and delivered, meetings and social events have been held, deadlines have come and gone; but there's much more to come. We have several meetings in the next few weeks, and we're speaking at a large church here in Stockton on February 27th, telling the congregation what we'll be doing in Haiti. In the meantime, this article (or something close to it) will be published in the Stockton Record to promote our fundraiser in April. "Fundraiser for Haiti Quail Lakes Baptist Church will be hosting a “Walk-a-Thon” and silent auction on Saturday, April 2nd, from 10 A.M. to 12 P.M. Proceeds from the event will be used to send a group of ten young adults to Jacmel, Haiti, where they will help rebuild an orphanage damaged in the January 2010 earthquake. Highlights will include food, live music, and childcare. Known as the Hands and Feet Project, the orpha...

Look at a quote by John Stuart Mill: "Those only are happy (I thought) who have their minds fixed on some object other than their own happiness[....] Aiming thus at something else, they find happiness along the way[....] Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so." Mill believed in what is today called the "paradox of hedonism." This is the idea that pursuing something for the sake of happiness will never lead to happiness, while pursuing something for its own sake (or for some other end) can. Now, we can forgive Mill for having no knowledge of our biology's influence on happiness (that exercise produces endorphins, for example). Nonetheless, his and others' ideas about this paradox are interesting for two reasons: First, I've seen this time and again in my own life. I cannot count the number of times I've pursued something for the purpose of making me happy, and have instead found myself disappointed. On the other hand, there...