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Mirrors

When you've worked too much, and have done so for a long time, things get pretty boring, and so-- you can expect-- do you. It's in these times that leaving for a while with some friends helps you wake up a little. I did that today, and more than simply enjoy their company, I've found myself restored in a sense.

Let me explain. I've found, pretty consistently, that friends do more than share your interests. They play a crucial role in reflecting your identity back to you. That is, you're reminded of who you are by the simple fact that you've chosen them as friends. You look at their values and compare them to your own, and you find that they paint a pretty clear picture of the things you care about. Even more important, if they're good friends and if you've known them long enough, they also validate you on a level that few others can. You're reminded that you're okay because they respond to the paths you intentionally trudge or sprint through in life-- the doldrums and the heights-- with acceptance. A good friend knows you well and still thinks you're not such a bad guy. It's in those moments when you feel somewhat naked in front of the people you trust-- when your faults lay at your and their feet, that you need more than ever not to feel alone.

I've had moments like these, and it has been in the times when I've felt this vulnerability that I've learned that reflections of identity aren't just meant to reveal your own values. They're intended also, in the scope of Christian faith, to reflect the personal parentage of a loving Father. Those moments of trust in others reflect back to you not yourself alone, but the change that he has produced in the people you care about and, ultimately, the love of God himself. Mirrors like these-- reminders of who you are and who God is-- can't be formed from intellectual clay. They must be shaped, quickly or slowly, through those self-same moments of vulnerability when you trust-- really trust-- that God is who he says he is. If you've chosen wisely, friends become a reminder of that for you, a validation that you're okay, that you're not such a bad guy. I only hope that I can trust like this more often, not only with my faults, but with my successes and my desires as well. When I don't, hopefully I remember to turn around again and look where I looked before: in the mirror.
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