Skip to main content

Mirrors

When you've worked too much, and have done so for a long time, things get pretty boring, and so-- you can expect-- do you. It's in these times that leaving for a while with some friends helps you wake up a little. I did that today, and more than simply enjoy their company, I've found myself restored in a sense.

Let me explain. I've found, pretty consistently, that friends do more than share your interests. They play a crucial role in reflecting your identity back to you. That is, you're reminded of who you are by the simple fact that you've chosen them as friends. You look at their values and compare them to your own, and you find that they paint a pretty clear picture of the things you care about. Even more important, if they're good friends and if you've known them long enough, they also validate you on a level that few others can. You're reminded that you're okay because they respond to the paths you intentionally trudge or sprint through in life-- the doldrums and the heights-- with acceptance. A good friend knows you well and still thinks you're not such a bad guy. It's in those moments when you feel somewhat naked in front of the people you trust-- when your faults lay at your and their feet, that you need more than ever not to feel alone.

I've had moments like these, and it has been in the times when I've felt this vulnerability that I've learned that reflections of identity aren't just meant to reveal your own values. They're intended also, in the scope of Christian faith, to reflect the personal parentage of a loving Father. Those moments of trust in others reflect back to you not yourself alone, but the change that he has produced in the people you care about and, ultimately, the love of God himself. Mirrors like these-- reminders of who you are and who God is-- can't be formed from intellectual clay. They must be shaped, quickly or slowly, through those self-same moments of vulnerability when you trust-- really trust-- that God is who he says he is. If you've chosen wisely, friends become a reminder of that for you, a validation that you're okay, that you're not such a bad guy. I only hope that I can trust like this more often, not only with my faults, but with my successes and my desires as well. When I don't, hopefully I remember to turn around again and look where I looked before: in the mirror.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pleasure

*Note: In the following post, I am heavily influenced by a pastor named Bob Shirock. Specifically, Shirock writes about Solomon's response to the pleasures he experienced in life in Ecclesiastes, and observes that we can enjoy pleasures in life if we accept them as God's gifts, and if we express our gratitude in their enjoyment. He cites Ecclesiastes 2:24-26 and 1 Timothy 4:1-5. I’ve noticed something about pleasure: the highs can be followed by lows. This sounds obvious, but what I mean is that times of joy and fun in life's pleasures are wonderful, and can lift your spirits for a time, but they can be followed by a disappointment that comes from the realization that they are short-lived and will not satisfy us in the long-term. I’m calling this a pleasure hangover. We gain happiness for a time, but see that this happiness is temporary. We therefore feel a subsequent low that leaves us still longing. It reminds me of a theme in the life of C.S. Lewis: sehnsucht , or a wist...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ghosts

Exercising at a gym seems to be pretty important in our culture, but it's kind of weird to see the social dynamics when you're there. Usually, if you're running an errand, you see others doing the same thing, going about their days and focusing on what's in front of them. The same thing happens at the gym, only everyone is relatively stationary. They don't really go anywhere, except from one machine or area to another. One might think this lends itself to lots of interaction between members, especially since they're all there for the same purpose, but it isn't true. Not only do people generally avoid talking to one another, but they also avoid even looking at one another. It is as though there is no one else there, even though there are dozens on any given day. Most people follow this unwritten rule, unless something in the environment-- say, two people wanting to use the same set of weights-- gives them common ground to interact, or unless they've alr...
2 comments
Read more

End of an Era

It was over two years ago that I joined an experiment that would last until last July, an experiment that would significantly change me and the eleven others involved. That experiment was the creation of a new church comprised of twelve members whose purpose was to serve the people of downtown Stockton. Most attractive to me about it was that half of our income would be used in some way outside the church, to benefit the local community or to aid in international assistance. In that span of time, we did in fact serve in ways we'd envisioned. One of our first events was a pizza and school supplies giveaway (coupled with games for the kids who came) toward the end of our first summer. Many of those who came seemed genuinely happy at this. Through that year, we also hosted an event called a "card me house party," wherein each person's ticket to the event was a gift card. Once inside, chips could be purchased to play card and other games, with the resulting collection g...
1 comment
Read more