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Teaching

In the five-and-a-half years I've taught, no one school year has been like another. Not only do students change, and not only does each class have its own personality; but you change as a teacher, as well. Here is a synopsis of my tenure at school, along with the range of experience that entails:

Year One
Experience: Although I'm inexperienced, I try to act like I know what I'm doing. Students quickly learn I am not a good liar, and I do my best keeping my classes under control.
Perspective: Teaching means failure.

Year Two
Experience: Alarmed at the discipline problems I faced my first year, I spend my summer overhauling my lessons in a way that I believe make my class more engaging. Concurrently, I overcompensate my apparent leniency by becoming very strict in the classroom. I alienate myself by showing no quarter, but also improve in lesson effectiveness and classroom control. I retain my job.
Perspective: Teaching means me versus them.

Year Three
Experience: Convinced of the effectiveness of my lessons from year two, but the lack of welcome I offered students, I make an effort to retain the rigidly structured atmosphere without the overly strict attitude. My classes are much easier to manage because I allow my students to bring their personalities into the classroom. By the end of the year, I learn that my lessons aren't as effective as I'd hoped, and resolve that it's time to return to the drawing board.
Perspective: Teaching means always learning and revision.

Year Four
Experience: I see that being too structured in a classroom does not suit my personality. I learn that it is draining to keep lessons too ordered because my attention cannot be divided: I cannot focus so strictly on the way a lesson manifests itself that I ignore the needs of my students. This is especially salient when I get angry that my students are "interrupting" the flow of my lesson. I learn that these interruptions are teaching moments for me. They tell me that I am focusing too much on the lesson and too little on my students.
Perspective: Teaching means empathy.

Year Five
Experience: I'm given more responsibility this year by taking on the position of leadership teacher. This, I find, is at once time-intensive, visible to other teachers and the parents, and satisfying. With only the first year as my exception, I have never worked so hard as a teacher as I have this year. The year begins with a measure of cynicism from my students, as they adored their former leadership teacher. I resolve to work to earn their trust, while proving to myself that I am capable of such responsibility.
Perspective: Teaching means leadership. Leadership means service.

Year Six (Current)
Experience: I resolve to work smarter, not harder, this year. I plan for contingencies and make sure I am organized and engaging in the classroom. I feel a little like Chuck Norris this year: I do not worry about failure. Failure worries about me. The team is working harder this year, as a team, than any previous year I've known, and it shows in our collective ability to hold students to high standards of academic achievement and behavior.
Perspective: Teaching means cooperation.

I'm having my students journal about change this week. Looking back, I am surprised by the amount of it I've undergone in the past half-decade. None of it was intended, but was birthed from need. At the same time, I've certainly grown as a person. Teaching, like so much else in life, does not take place in a vacuum. All of my cumulative experience from life inside and outside the classroom has come to bear on my experience and perspective of what it means to teach and, more broadly, what it means to be in a position of authority. I know I'll only learn more next year.
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